Signage, stupidity and people who stare.....

I'm not stupid, really. Though I'll admit to some less than stellar moments, I usually have a good head on my shoulders. Today, however, was not one those days. People who read this probably wonder how I manage to get through the day-I'm right there with you.

It all started with a phone call from my sister who was having troubles with her quasi-on and off-boyfriend that floats back into her life when he needs inspiration. He's a musician that has taken 7 years to get through college. He might graduate this year with a degree in something like Greek mythology. Which is fine, if you are going to do something with it. He'll probably just keep floating...and my sister will keep the life raft up. "But he's so.....deep!" she says. Right. I'm convinced.

Anyway, I try to be sympathetic, I listen, I commiserate, I sigh. She needs to simply dump the looser and move on-but who am I to judge, right? Look at my husband. He's at war with nature-and losing. I've told her what I think-but she can't see the forest for the trees.

During this conversation-I'm at the airport waiting for my flight and I'm having to pee-bad. I try to do the goodbye chant-but she starts in with another story-then she gets on Mom's latest complaints and my eyeballs start to float. I try to interrupt, I try to interject, I try but end up walking toward the bathroom because I can't wait any longer. I start in with "I have to go"-and she doesn't hear it. Either that, or she's more like our mother than I want to even imagine.

So, I figure, you know what-if she's going to keep yapping, then I'm going to the bathroom. She's my sister, right? How bad is that? Probably pretty bad, but at this point, need is taken over any manners or privacy. I march into the bathroom, choose a stall and slam the door-she's still yapping-I do my thing-she's now on the fact that the boyfriend quit his job because they didn't understand him-I'm trying to listen, deal with toilet paper and keep my temper in check. Then she starts bawling. Now I feel bad and I'm trying to reason with her.

I walk out of the stall to wash my hands and approach....

A urinal!

It takes a minute to register. I'm like-what the hell kind of sink is this? I can't find the knobs...My sister is still talking, bawling, ranting, and I'm standing in front of a urinal with my cell phone tucked in my neck...

Then I make the mistake of looking to the left. Then the right. Two men are standing there-positively riveted on me. Like I'm a creature from outer space. Thankfully, they are only standing there-flys zipped. One of them clears his throat and says.."This is the men's room."

Ahem...Do ya think?

I'm horrified. I mumbled something-probably a really foul word mixed with an apology. Hang up on my sister-and literally run out of there like I'm on fire.

Did I mention.....I'm in uniform, and both these men boarded my flight ten minutes later....